Why do your kids play soccer? Do you know what to expect from your youth soccer club and coach?
Meet Skye Eddy Bruce, a former ODP Region I player from Virginia, who was a track athlete and All-American youth player. She played 4 years at University of Massachusetts, redshirting one of those years due to injury.
In her 5th year of school she transferred to George Mason University. Her GMU team had a magical year and Skye was the named the Defensive MVP of the NCAA Final 4 Tournament, first team All-American and runner up in the 1993 national champion. She has played in the Italian Women’s league, has coached College Soccer at the University of Richmond, has her USSF B license and National Goalkeeping licenses.
Currently Skye is on the board of the Richmond Strikers Soccer Club and is a staff member with the U.S. Soccer National Training Centers. Skye, now a soccer parent herself, has started SoccerParenting, a great resource for parents who are trying to navigate the often confusing youth soccer landscape.
SoccerToday spoke with Skye Eddy Bruce to learn more about SoccerParenting.
Carrie Taylor: As a soccer parent, what are some of your frustrations with coaches and the current youth soccer system?
Skye Eddy Bruce: I feel extremely fortunate when it comes to my children’s coaches. They are sincere people who genuinely care about my children. They possess an appropriate amount of knowledge of the game based on the different levels my children play. My daughter plays ECNL and my son plays recreation soccer.
However, I am frustrated with the current youth soccer system; I recently wrote an article “5 Calls to Action for Youth Soccer” in which I discussed the need for doing a better job educating coaches, establishing a method for U.S. Soccer to financially support clubs who are developing players, reengaging parents in the youth soccer process, having better connections between U.S. Soccer and the millions of parents and players in the USA, and rethinking the way we are developing players – all players – to ensure a better experience for everyone.
I see room for improvements with the current youth soccer system and feel as though they are not thinking about the 10-12 million parents and players with some their decisions.
I hope we see some significant changes in leadership in the coming years.
Carrie Taylor: What prompted you to start SoccerParenting.com?
Skye Eddy Bruce: That’s a good question.
SoccerParenting was “born” the day my daughter started playing in the club’s Advanced Development Program (ADP) at U8. This program was geared towards players who demonstrated a desire to focus a bit more on soccer than with recreation, there were “professional” coaches and kids who were eager to play and learn….and it was horrible.
I was equally as shocked with the poor quality of the training environment as I was with the fact that the parents didn’t feel there was anything wrong.
It became clear to me at that moment that something desperately needed to be done to educate parents about the game and what their expectations should be for their children.
Carrie Taylor: What types of topics are most important for parents to know?
Skye Eddy Bruce: SoccerParenting is divided into the 6 Pillars of A Fulfilling Youth Soccer Experience. The 6 Pillars are: The Coach, The Parent, The Game, The Body, The Mind and The Next Level.
THE COACH: Parents need to understand that their top priority when it comes to their child’s youth soccer experience, is finding a COACH THEY CAN TRUST.
THE PARENT: Parents need to be guided and empowered when it comes to how to act on the sidelines, how to communicate with the coach, what to say to their child and to understand that they are the SOLUTION to the issues we face in youth soccer, not the problem.
THE GAME: Parents must seek to have a fundamental understanding of the rules of the game, a very basic knowledge of the technical components of soccer and a general understand of the tactics involved so they can best support their child and so the experience can be a positive one for the entire family.
THE BODY: Parents must understand Long Term Athletic Development as it relates to their child, how to handle minor injuries, and – as their children get older – periodization and player monitoring.
THE MIND: Parents can play a unique role in the mental side of the game with their children. Parents must understand how to help their children develop a Growth Mindset, what to say before a game, what not to say after a game, how to help their child deal with stress or disappointment and, most importantly, parents need to make certain their child is developing a life long love for being active and healthy.
THE NEXT LEVEL: Parents are inundated with training and development opportunities. Soccer, after all, is a multi-billion dollar industry in the United States. With that in mind, parents need to understand the available and appropriate path(s) for their child so they are able to make the best decisions for them.
Carrie Taylor: Many people complain about soccer parents in a negative light, how can this narrative be reworked?
Skye Eddy Bruce: It is essential to rework this narrative.
Coaches must allow the narrative to change by altering their mindset when it comes to parents. Too many coaches have a negative view of parents and actually go out of their way to avoid them.
Parents must allow this narrative to change by taking away the voice of the Crazy Soccer Parent by literally shunning them — and not their children — not allowing their crazy voice and actions to have power. When the Crazy Soccer Parent has power – it quickly becomes a negative environment for everyone. At SoccerParenting, I often reference the Crazy Soccer Parent and talk about how they have “ruined it” for us non-Crazies.
25 years ago, I don’t think people complained as much about soccer parents – back then, the coach of the team was most often a parent themselves. There are a few reasons for this, but …
The primary one is that with the advent of the professional coach, we lost track of the true purpose of why our children play sports.
It’s not to win games – it is so our children will be healthy and learn important life lessons that will empower them to be strong and healthy adults. When coaches and/or parents forget this – then the parent narrative often becomes a negative one.
I also think it’s important to mention that parents are often viewed in a negative light when they don’t trust the coach. Sometimes this is because their child isn’t getting the attention they feel he or she deserves – and the parents may be right or wrong when it comes to this. Often, though, this is because the coach has not engaged the parents.
Carrie Taylor: One of your recent articles talked about being mindful of the end. How can that message be at the forefront of conversations with parents, players and coaches?
Skye Eddy Bruce: That article was a personal one for me because when writing it I had some real clarity about what I seek for my daughter – who plays at quite a high level.
I closed that article with the sentence “At the end of the day, I want soccer to lead my child to find her place in the world.” It’s so easy to get caught up in all the chaos of youth soccer, the college coaches, her playing time, the position she is playing….and forget what we ultimately seek – why we encourage our children to play soccer.
I think another way to frame the question may be, “How can we make sure parents, players and coaches maintain perspective about what is really important when it comes to youth soccer?”
This is one of the primary purposes of Soccer Parenting. Our Value Statements is: We seek to use a clear perspective when making soccer choices for our children, ensuring the decisions are in the best interest of the child’s long-term happiness, contentment and positive attitude.
I think the answer to your question is a really simple one: Parents have perspective when they allow themselves to! They might need a nudge or guide now – but ultimately, I believe parents know what they REALLY seek for their child – and it’s not a college scholarship!
Carrie Taylor: Do you ever present to clubs about how can organizations be more inclusive of parents?
Skye Eddy Bruce: Yes, I am a public speaker through Soccer Parenting. I give presentations for parents, coaches and Boards. I think getting in front of parents and connecting with them in a more personal way than I can do via my writing provides an important platform that is a springboard for some significant change in youth soccer.
I also work as a speaker with John O’Sullivan and the Changing the Game Project.
Carrie Taylor: What is your overall goal for soccerparenting.com?
Skye Eddy Bruce: My overall goal for SoccerParenting is to help each child have a fulfilling youth soccer experience by engaging, educating and empowering parents.
Follow her on Twitter @SoccerParenting and Facebook
Skye Eddy Bruce’s side note: My kids continue to play in the same Club and the club is now doing a FANTASTIC job educating players as they have a new Executive Director, Director of Coaching and many new coaches.
